Overthinking often shows up in the tiniest of moments - like sending an email or message and feeling the pull to check for a response straight away (and then a hundred times afterwards).
I caught myself doing this today. The moment I pressed send on an email, my mind immediately jumped into imagining reactions and reading between lines that weren’t even written yet.
But a therapist once taught me something that’s relevant here: in acceptance and exposure-based therapies, a small delay can help to loosen the checking habit. Not necessarily a fixed ‘15-minute rule’ - because that can also turn into a ritual - but something gentler.
Pause before you check.
Just for a breath, a moment, a few seconds, or longer if it feels possible.
Give yourself a sliver of space between the urge and the action.
You can still check afterwards if you want to.
This week’s small step: Pause before you check.
If you’d like to understand why this works, here’s a more detailed explanation.
Oh my! Yet another wonderful and much needed message which I want to leap out of my phone to hug you for posting? This uncertainty is what 💯 negatively absolutely inhibits and restricts and controls my life and stops any joy or happiness or pleasure. I need to do so much work on this and am currently trying but it is so hard! This has just confirmed my resolve to continue because despite being so uncomfortable to do I know it has potential to change my restrictions on life and allow some joy?
Louise, you just speak to me so much🥰